Secret Lives of the Supreme Court

Secret Lives of the Supreme Court

A decidedly tabloid-style exposé of our judicial branch, Secret Lives of the Supreme Court is author Robert Schnakenberg’s attempt to “peek underneath the robes” of many of our most famous Supreme Court justices. The result is enough to make a grown man blush.

Thirty-five Supreme Court judges are profiled in chronological order, including all nine current justices, and the tenor of each chapter is made clear from the beginning, as each judge’s nickname and astrological sign are listed before their term of office and the name of the president who appointed them. Each chapter includes a short biographical essay, followed by a series of anecdotal paragraphs describing various quirks and vices.

Schnakenberg pulls no punches. America’s first Chief Justice, Founding Father John Jay, is described as a “crabby slave-owning, anti-Catholic bigot.” Roger Brooke Taney, “the founding father of judicial racism,” is “the Darth Vader to Abraham Lincoln’s Luke Skywalker.” James Clark McReynolds is described as “an abrasive boor” who was “the Archie Bunker of the Supreme Court,” while Abe Fortas is said to have been a “tiresome hack” and Warren Burger, “a blustering imperious phony.”

Judicial addictions get plenty of attention. We learn that “the most influential chief justice in American history,” John Marshall, consumed large quantities of alcohol, while current Chief Justice John Roberts is a confirmed chocoholic. And Thurgood Marshall, the first African-American to sit on the court, was a soap opera junkie, who according to Time magazine, suspended deliberations every day so he could watch Days of Our Lives.

And then there’s sex. Benjamin Cardozo, we learn, was celibate and may have died a virgin, while William O. Douglas, America’s longest serving justice (1939-1975), was “the biggest whorer around.” And don’t forget Clarence Thomas, whose confirmation hearings were marked by accusations of sexual harassment, and who was, according to a Washington DC video store proprietor, “something of a connoisseur of adult films.”

Sidebar chapters give paragraph-long summaries of other noteworthy judges, like John Rutledge, the only justice to be kicked out of office (for losing his mind), as well as “Near Misses, Rejects, and Also-Rans” like Douglas Ginsburg, who was rejected by the Senate because he tried marijuana while teaching at Harvard. And another chapter lists unusual Supreme Court cases, including Sierra Club v. Morton, where William O. Douglas asserted the rights of lakes, rivers, groves of trees and other inanimate objects to sue in court.

With its gossip-column content and amusing comic-book-style illustrations, Secret Lives of the Supreme Court is a most irreverent look at the highest court in the land.

Softcover: 288 pages

Publisher: Quirk Productions ( May 01, 2009 )

Item #: 65-3489

ISBN: 9781594743085

Product Dimensions: 5.25 x 8.0 x 0.0 inches

Product Weight: 14.0 ounces